Gremlins – The Gizmo Way: a subjective report by: GF Willmetts.

There is an odd species loose on the planet Earth. Nominally, it appears, as far as we know, to be one of a kind, although propagates when you add water.

There are three rules associated with the Mogwai and its variants often called gremlins, no doubt discovered by accident with its discovery although no one appears to question them.

There are three rules associated with this species:-

  1. Keep them out of direct sunlight.

Considering that the Mogwai variants melt in direct sunlight, this could be seen as population control, although rather fearsome at night.

  1. Avoid washing them as water propagates the species.

The addition of water appears to be the only way for the Mogwai and its variants to propagate although there is no evidence of how they draw in the material to grow so rapidly. They can hardly be solar-powered but you do have to wonder if they ever get thirsty.

  1. Don’t feed after midnight.

When does ‘after’ actually end or is it related to when there is direct sunlight? The Mogwai and its variants appear to be omnivorous and eats continually and this no doubt relates to them having to avoid direct sunlight where they become combustible. There is no evidence that they deposit any waste products.

None of the above addresses where they come from or why is the apparently last remaining Mogwai not euthanised no matter how cute he, she or it appears. What is known is that have been appearances of the Mogwai variant called gremlins throughout history and across the world, suggesting history doesn’t learn from its mistakes. They have often been dramatised as church ornaments often called gargoyles.

No doubt placing statues of these beings around was seen as a means to deter these territorial animals as well any rival human tribes. You wouldn’t want to encounter one or even a family of such beings. As these gremlin variants no doubt faced at least two of these rules in practical form and had their lives extinguished does display that they were not always consciously aware of their own weaknesses. They can be fooled into thinking night is coming early.

What can be discerned is that these Mogwai are normally nocturnal as witnessed by their large ears and eyes does suggesting hyper-senses adjusted to these conditions. The Mogwai’s song might actually be heard far higher than humans can really detect and should be examined further. The only attribute that is associated with its song is as a means to pacify humans. Their sense of smell as their noses are practically non-existent.

Three digit hands with short arms and feet appear dexterous enough for most activity. Although the gremlin variant can have wings, none of them have tails suggesting none of them are really arboreal. The arms of the gremlin variant are longer with leaner bodies and few are hairy which distinguishes them from their progenitor. Other than eyes and ears and general shape, they could almost be described as a different species.

The Mogwai invariably referred to as ‘Gizmo’ appears defenceless and placid compared to the variants, who have been known to capture and attack it. They stop short of killing their progenitor, despite the fact that they can also breed more of themselves. This might be just a survival mechanism in play to preserve its own kind, as they don’t appear to see each other as a menace. Being largely ineffectual has contributed to the survival of this Mogwai and ensuring that, usually by accident, it can release a new generation periodically from mishandling.

The breeding pattern, no matter how unorthodox, does not breed true. It appears to have an open-ended DNA matrix that changes subject to environment and the only other contributing factor, water. It would be interesting to test the hypothesis of whether or not distilled water would yield pure Mogwai than the usual reptilian-appearing mix.

When the variant breeds, they yield more of the same. This also raises an interesting question as to which came first: the pure Mogwai or its variants? Based on the evidence gathered, one would have to say the Mogwai itself and it appears to be one of a kind.

Short of an x-ray, which as this would also involved pure light which is detrimental to its health, it would be difficult to discover what species the Mogwai evolved from. It certainly displays a desire to learn and capable of staying tame in association with humans who feed it and flees from those likely to abuse it. Self-survival seems a common trait for all species. The hair would suggest mammalian but its asexual nature and how it breeds tends to suggest it might be genetically designed and/or possibly of extra-terrestrial origin.

As the gremlin variant has been found throughout human history, one would have to disregard the Mogwai as a human invention. Early human led breeding programs have been designed to tame feral species that were then used for hunting or agriculture. Other than looking cute, the Mogwai has no apparent serious purpose as far as we know.

If the Mogwai is of extra-terrestrial origin, one would have to wonder what its purpose was as well. As it is highly adaptable, the Mogwai could be seen as a means to provide markers for extra-terrestrials to know what adaptations would be needed for a supposedly alien environment than be seen purely as a pet. Its open-ended DNA matrix would certainly assist in its adaptability.

The more grotesque progeny could be seen as failures than a deliberate attempt to attack the human population. If that was the intention, then the Mogwai would not have those three failings for itself but to control the failed progeny. All three of these supposed rules are designed to stop the variant than keep it alive. Hardly an option you would have for a pet for any sentient species to own.

Even so, one would have to wonder why have these gremlin variants in the first place? The only possible good would be if the environment was particularly hostile and needed a more aggressive form to survive. Their relative insanity might well be a bi-product of our environment not allowing them to breed true. Certainly, the way they dress and use human equipment would suggest that they are taking their odd markers from our society. Both versions do have an interest in cinema suggesting they have need to rapidly absorb information and have an intelligence level higher than a chimpanzee.

We are left with a dilemma. All instincts would recommend euthanasia of the Mogwai to prevent another outbreak of gremlins. However, its song tends to pacify anyone close to it although that is not necessarily a limitation. There is the second possibility that the Mogwai is a potential alien ambassador and how we treat it might reflect on us should its masters return. As such, it is recommended that it remains in the hands of its current owner,

William Peltzer, and any recommended host after his death. Humans have a long history of making species extinct and if the Mogwai is proven to be extra-terrestrial, do we really want to see what its creators might unleash should we destroy it?

© GF Willmetts

January 2019

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