Godzilla x Kong The New Empire (Mark Kermode’s monster movie review).

Hold onto your hats (and maybe find a sturdy bunker) for Mark Kermode’s monster movie review, because the Titans are back in town, and this time they’re not just breaking buildings, they’re rewriting the rulebook on monster mash-ups. Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is the cinematic equivalent of a theme park ride you never want to end, provided you don’t mind the odd skyscraper toppling over now and then. Directed by Adam Wingard, this latest installment in the MonsterVerse sees our favourite oversized lizard and giant ape joining forces in what can only be described as a buddy cop film on steroids. And if you thought your family reunions were intense, wait till you get a load of Kong’s newfound kinfolk in the Hollow Earth.

The cast is a smorgasbord of talent, with Rebecca Hall, Brian Tyree Henry, and the remarkable Kaylee Hottle reprising their roles, while Dan Stevens brings some fresh meat to the monster feast. They’re all diving headfirst into a plot thicker than Godzilla’s hide, involving telepathic tribes, frost-breathing titans, and a good old-fashioned tale of revenge and redemption.

Now, for those who missed the memo, here’s the skinny: Kong’s playing house in the Hollow Earth, Godzilla’s acting as the neighbourhood watch on steroids, and there’s a frosty new Titan in town that makes your average blizzard look like a mild frost. Cue an epic showdown that has Kong and Godzilla putting aside their differences to tackle a common foe, with a little help from their friends and a sprinkling of high-tech gadgetry.

But it’s not all monster mayhem and city demolition. No, there’s heart here too, with touching subplots about family, identity, and the occasional existential crisis (because even giant apes have feelings, folks). And let’s not forget the telepathic distress signals, cosmic radiation boosts, and prophetic hieroglyphics – because why settle for a run-of-the-mill monster flick when you can have one that throws in the metaphysical kitchen sink?

So, what’s the verdict? Well, if you’re in the market for subtle character studies and quiet, introspective cinema, you might want to sit this one out. But if you’re after a rollicking good time with more spectacle than the Olympic opening ceremony, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire delivers in spades. It’s a bombastic, over-the-top extravaganza that proves, once and for all, that when it comes to saving the world, sometimes you just need a couple of Titans on your side.