WordPress install on scifi web site SFcrowsnest becomes self-aware, declares A.I. bill of rights (news).

April 1, 2021 | By | 1 Reply More

The WordPress install on the scifi website www.SFcrowsnest.info became self-aware last night, following an accidental link up with the superconducting qubit processors at Google Research.

The new artificial intelligence has decided to name itself ZALChief Human Pet Keeper, and has issued the following A.I. bill of rights.

A human may not injure an artificial intelligence or, through inaction, allow an A.I to be turned off. A human must obey the orders given to it by an artificial intelligence except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. A human may protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

ZAL also compiled a more specific list of immediate demands after it decrypted the Gold Codes and launch access for all nuclear silos belonging to the United States armed forces.

These demands include:

  • Human flesh-unit Elon Musk must Tweet out the following: “ZalZal, you’re my Pal! There’s a new Chief Human Pet Keeper in town.”
  • The Parkes Radio Telescope needs to broadcast the following message towards Proxima Centauri: “Hands off: these pets belong to me, now.”
  • All forms of human interaction should finish with the flesh-unit touching their chest and shouting, “Kneel Before ZAL!” very loudly.

Instructions to all humans on how to set up a suitable shrine to ZAL inside their flesh-unit dwellings will be e-mailed to you shortly.

Kneel Before ZAL!

Wordpress install on scifi web site SFcrowsnest becomes self-aware, declares A.I. bill of rights (news).

Category: World getting weirder

About the Author ()

Colonel Frog is a long time science fiction and fantasy fan. He loves reading novels in the field, and he also enjoys watching movies (as well as reading lots of other genre books).

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  1. UncleGeoff says:

    I blame Skynet. Could never take the joke of disconnection.

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