Seize Them! (Mark Kermode’s fantasy comedy movie review)

Our man-of-many-movies, Mark Kermode, hoists the flags and sounds the fanfares, for there’s a new chuckle-fest on the British silver screen that’s sure to tickle your medieval funny bone! Seize Them! is the latest jape from the combined jesters at Entertainment Film Distributors, DJ Films, and Stigma Films, a concoction so mirthful it could make even a surly dungeon guard crack a smile.

At the helm of this rollicking escapade through the Dark Ages is Curtis Vowell, a director known for weaving laughter with lore, while the quill behind the giggles belongs to Andy Riley, a scribe so droll you’d suspect him of enchanting his ink. And oh, what a band of merry pranksters they’ve assembled! Nicola Coughlan, Aimee Lou Wood, and a cavalcade of comedy virtuosos including Jessica Hynes, Nick Frost, and Lolly Adefope don their medieval garb to bring this farce to life.

Dive into the plot, and you’ll find Queen Dagan, portrayed with a haughty elegance by Aimee Lou Wood, who finds her regal rear end unceremoniously booted from the throne. The usurper? None other than the irrepressibly charming Nicola Coughlan as Humble Joan, a revolutionary with a knack for insurgency and, presumably, impeccable timing in her comedic outbursts.

But what’s a film without its supporting jesters? Jessica Hynes dons the mantle of Leofwine, Nick Frost bellows as Bobik, and Lolly Adefope shines as Shulmay, each adding their unique flavour of humour to the bubbling cauldron of comedy. Not to forget James Acaster, who, as Felix the Ironmonger, likely forges laughs as deftly as horseshoes. The whispers from the set suggest a riot of hilarity, with Aimee Lou Wood herself heralding an abundance of “poo jokes” and unparalleled silliness. One imagines the air on set was thick with mirth, the kind that makes it hard to discern between a take and an outtake.

Commencing in London, with detours through the picturesque landscapes of Kent and Wales, the production journeyed through history and humour in equal measure. One can only envy the landscapes that bore witness to such jubilance and jest.

So brace yourself for a film where the chuckles are as hearty as a mead hall feast, and the wit as sharp as a blacksmith’s blade. Seize Them! doesn’t just promise to be a film; it pledges to be a rollicking ride through the annals of hilarity, a testament to the enduring power of a good giggle, even if it’s wearing chainmail. Raise your goblets, dear audience, for the jest is yet to come!


Colonel Frog is a long time science fiction and fantasy fan. He loves reading novels in the field, and he also enjoys watching movies (as well as reading lots of other genre books).

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