The Last Starfighter: Why arcade skills beat an Oxbridge degree any day (movie retrospective).

Back in the glorious days when an alien invasion could be thwarted by a spotty teenager armed only with a pocketful of 10p coins and a high score on a dusty arcade machine, ‘The Last Starfighter’ flew onto cinema screens, bringing hope to every kid whose mum said playing video games would rot their brain. Let’s revisit that particular gem of 1980s sci-fi cinema, shall we?

Released in 1984—an era when hair was big, shoulder pads even bigger, and special effects only slightly better than an episode of Blue Peter—’The Last Starfighter’ is a tale as old as time. Boy meets arcade game; boy achieves highest score; boy is whisked away by an alien recruiter named Centauri (played with marvellous cheek by Robert Preston, clearly having more fun than anyone else in the cast) to fight intergalactic wars against rubber-faced villains. It’s exactly what we hoped would happen every time we fed another coin into Space Invaders down the local chippy.

Our unsuspecting hero, Alex Rogan (played by Lance Guest, sporting hair so feathered you could comfortably stuff a pillow with it), lives in a trailer park and dreams of escaping to university. Instead, he ends up saving the galaxy, which, let’s face it, looks far better on the CV. Armed with nothing but enthusiasm and a severe lack of actual military training—proving once again that skill at gaming beats expensive Oxbridge degrees every time—he bravely takes to the stars.

But it’s not just about blowing up aliens. No, ‘The Last Starfighter’ also serves as a public service announcement to parents everywhere: video games aren’t mindless entertainment; they’re recruitment tools for intergalactic conflict. So next time your little darling begs for an extra hour on the console, remember, they’re probably honing their skills to become Earth’s only defence against galactic tyranny. Probably.

In true 80s style, the special effects are an endearing mix of primitive CGI (ground-breaking at the time, now about as convincing as a Windows 95 screensaver) and classic practical effects. Director Nick Castle seemed unconcerned about realism, and frankly, neither were we. It was the 80s: we believed the Sinclair Spectrum was the pinnacle of technological achievement.

Perhaps the real joy of ‘The Last Starfighter’ is its cheerfully daft plot, held together with sticky tape, optimism, and a memorable synthesiser soundtrack. Throw in the romance with Alex’s patient girlfriend Maggie (Catherine Mary Stewart), who spends most of the film oblivious that her beau has become Earth’s saviour—standard procedure, really—and you’ve got classic sci-fi escapism.

Here at SFcrowsnest magazine, we hold a soft spot for films that refuse to take themselves seriously, and ‘The Last Starfighter’ has charm in bucket-loads. It’s a love letter to anyone who ever stood in a queue at the arcade or spent their pocket money on games magazines. Sure, it’s no ‘Blade Runner’ or ‘2001: A Space Odyssey,’ but then again, neither of those films inspired generations to smugly claim their gaming habits were “research.”

So next time you see a lonely arcade machine gathering dust in a seaside café, give it a nod of respect. It might just be scouting for talent. After all, you never know when an eccentric alien with a twinkle in his eye will come knocking. Better keep practising—your planet needs you.