Cryptid (2022): a film review by Mark R. Leeper.
‘Cryptid’ is a run-of-the-mill monster film. The monster is from a reptilian species that has survived since…well, they don’t exactly say, but it seems to be from millions of years ago. Then again, so are crocodiles. The attacks all take place at night in the rain and when we do see the monster, it’s a bit of a letdown.
Released for streaming: 3rd January 2023.
Rating: 0 (-4 to +4), or 4/10.
(c) Mark R. Leeper 2023
Here’s our thoughts at the HQ, which gell with Mark’s, more or less:
Cryptid dives headfirst into the swampy depths of creature-feature films, serving up a tale of a reptilian rascal causing a ruckus on the rainy nights of a quaint Maine town. Trying to juggle the vibes of old-school monster flicks with today’s horror, it sometimes trips over its own scaly tail, landing face-first into genre clichés. Our elusive reptilian ruffian, rumored to be a dino’s distant cousin, draws a fun comparison to the age-old crocodiles. But the story doesn’t quite sink its teeth into this ancient terror, leaving viewers scratching their heads more than hiding behind their popcorn.
The monster, a supposed blast from the past, loves its dramatic rainy entrances. But when it finally steps into the spotlight, it’s less “terrifying T-Rex” and more “mildly miffed gecko.” The big reveal might have some in the audience asking for a refund, wishing for a creature as spine-chilling in the light as it was in the shadows.
But hey, it’s not all doom and gloom! Amidst a plot that sometimes feels like it’s wading through mud, the cast does a stellar job of making those rainy nights feel a tad less dreary. The practical effects, while not Oscar-worthy, do add a sprinkle of genuine spookiness. But, the film’s rhythm often feels like a tortoise race, with scenes that could’ve been snipped for a snappier story. And let’s not forget the occasional hammy acting and cringe-worthy one-liners that dilute the scare factor.
There’s a glint of a killer monster movie in there, especially with whispers of a sequel that might dive deeper into cryptid tales. A snazzier edit could’ve perhaps catapulted Cryptid into the monster movie hall of fame. The retro vibes, combined with Maine’s moody rain, is a delightful nod to the golden age of monster movies, but with a 21st-century flair.
To wrap it up, Cryptid is like a lukewarm cup of monster tea. It’s got its zesty moments and a few standout performances, but it’s weighed down by a slow brew, shallow lore, and a monster that’s more “meh” than “maul.” Still, with hints of a sequel, there’s hope that we might get a piping hot cup of cryptid chaos in the next round!
